WHAT ARE YOU BUSY DOING?

“Sounds like you are one busy lady!”  That’s what she said as we ended our conversation after catching up on my family, my work and upcoming retreats.  My immediate response  was, “ My life is pleasantly full and I am doing everything I love.” The word busy is very triggering for me and I think I have a negative connotation to the word because the use of ‘Busy’ stresses activity as opposed to idleness or leisure.   

I looked up the definition  and  found this:  "having a great deal to do.” Example: "He had been too busy to enjoy himself.” There is a difference between having a great deal to do and being too busy to enjoy oneself.  So whenever I hear the word busy, I become triggered because my story is that I am not enjoying myself.  

Most people use the phrase ‘too busy’ to express the feeling of overwhelm and overschedule.  The ‘verb’ definition of busy or keep occupied also brings up negative feelings for example: "she busied herself with her new home." To me, the verb definition of busying oneself with something signifies a lack of choice or doing something instead of another that is preferable.  There is a sense of desperation that comes with busying oneself.

Although I do experience occasional fatigue and even overwhelm, I do feel that I lead a life that is full and yet very pleasant and there are many reasons why.  On the rare occasion that I do feel “busy,” it is a cue for me to stop and notice where I am out of integrity with my habits and my commitments. It is a cue to STOP, recommit, and notice where I am in the drama triangle.  Where am I being a victim, villain and hero of my circumstances and Am I willing to shift into presence? 

Eighty percent of the time, I have boundless physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy and here is why:  I aim for a B minus and I practice having impeccable daily habits that help me to feel rested, energized, nourished and on purpose.  I teach, practice and model these habits every single day and my commitment to eating early;  getting enough sleep; eating good fresh food; moving my body; taking care of my organs and choosing ease; gives me boundless physical and mental energy so I can explore the world and be of service to my family, friends, and clients. 

My commitment to making conscious connections in both my personal and professional relationships, to practicing authenticity in communication, to living with integrity, and to speaking truth tempered with compassion, help me to constantly choose ease, speak inarguably and from presence, and have deep meaningful relationships that extend beyond talking about the weather.   

So yeah, maybe I am a ‘busy’ lady.  I am busying myself with doing the things that bring me joy, like saying yes to my habits ( whether I feel like doing them or not),  going on a nature walk with friends, choosing the tough conversations over distance, recommitting on a daily basis to choose ease and shift from victim to taking responsibility for the circumstances of my life. 

I am grateful every day that I get up, walk, and breathe on my own. Most of all, I am grateful that I can work on living my very best life daily.

 How about you?  What are you busy doing?

THE PERFECT DAY!

Yesterday was Friday and it was the perfect day in my book.  

I woke up this morning and did not want to  get out of bed because it was dark and I knew I didn't want to rise early because I didn’t really need to.  It is 5:30am on a Saturday and I had planned on sleeping in for as long as possible, but my body had other ideas, as I had a big one knocking.  It was magical to start the day with a good poop and I kept noticing this feeling of deep satisfaction and a persistent thought in my head whispering, “Yesterday was a great day.” So I sat and meditated as to why that was.  

As I look back at it all, I realize why. Maybe it was because it was Friday, but my schedule was not very different from the other week days.  I had several zoom calls in addition to my regular habit coaching group session.  I got up and exercised as usual. After a couple of hours of work, we went on a walk with our friend and I introduced her to a new nature path that they had never been on before.  My energy always goes way up when that happens since one of my favorite things to do is to introduce people to beautiful spots in nature for the first time then I watch their faces light up with joy.   

After our walk, I returned home and got right back to work with greater focus.  The weather was sunny and warm enough that I was able to take my calls outside in the backyard.  For once the lawn mowers were not there and I could actually hear the calls and get work done.

I had been feeling anxious about our to-do-list and I worked with John to make some decisions and move forward. I love that feeling of checking things off the list. It’s like having a mini party with each thing done.  It actually felt like ‘savasana’ in yoga when the flow of the poses is all over and you lie back and let go!  There is nothing sweeter.  

My mom stopped by for lunch and I scrambled to make her something she liked. I really wanted to give her something yummy and delicious but it was challenging to find something from our not so well stocked fridge and pantry.  I finally came up with an eggplant melange. I realized how important it was for me to feed and nourish her because there was never a time  in my life when my Mother did not put a delicious meal in front of me whenever I was hungry.  It’s her love language and I wanted to give her that gift for once. 

After making a nice light, and healthy stir fry for dinner, we got our tennis racquets and rode our bikes to the tennis courts where John tried to give me a few pointers.  We had been watching a little bit of the European tennis tournaments, and I was feeling inspired to smack some balls around.  I had fun and very quickly left humbled with so much appreciation for the talent and the hard work that the tennis pros bring to the courts everyday.  

After tennis, we stopped by to visit an old neighbor and got into a conversation about another friend who is a billionaire.  Right away, I felt my body tightening as I started to feel jealous.  I  noticed my thoughts and stories about not having enough money and savings…. As I caught myself going below the line and into the drama triangle, I immediately started repeating my mantra: “ I let go of feeling jealous of the good fortune of others and I expand in love, joy, peace and abundance every day as I help others to do the same.”  I was able to shift and enjoy our ride back home while taking in the beauty around me.

The day ended with a nice visit from my sister Joey whom I had not seen in a while. Our time of connection and deep conversations about life, careers, and planning for the future inspired me and reminded me of how much I prefer intimacy over shallow talks about the weather.  We watched an episode of Ted Lasso and the life lessons from Ted ran deep.

So what made it such a perfect day? Was it  the weather? The time spent in nature?  Living close to family? The ability to do my work on my own terms? As I look back, I think it was all those things which culminated in  the realization that I am living my dream life after all.  

What’s your perfect day? 

Love and blessings!

Romy

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO FOR SPRING?

Out with the cold, wet, dark winter and IN with Spring.  At least we hope! 

It’s almost impossible not to notice how nature is shifting to Spring.  It seems like just overnight it is getting lighter and the blossoms are unfurling.  Nature has a way of making the transition to Spring look very smooth and I wish it was that easy for us humans.  

Have you noticed some changes in yourself?  Lately, I have been feeling heavy, sluggish, and having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.  Yes, even me the Energy Queen has been wanting to hide under the covers a little bit longer.  I even  had to set my alarm to wake up this week.  

Ayurveda, reminds us that the key to feeling amazing on a consistent basis is to be in harmony with nature.  So Spring is here and it’s time for us to take her lead and step up our habits and get into rhythm.  

It’s Kapha Season.  Look outside, (at least on the East Coast) you will notice the earthy and watery qualities of this time of year.  Kapha is a combination of earth and water elements and we have these elements in our bodies.  When kapha is in balance, we feel powerful, strong, stable, our lungs and tissues and organs are well lubricated and energized.  When out of balance, we can feel a lack of energy, sleepy, unmotivated and even depressed.  Our mind can be foggy and dull and we may experience allergies, clogged sinuses and weight gain.  Spring is the best time to do a cleanse to remove excess Kapha in our body and mind.

 So what is the best way to  spring back into your body, mind and spirit?  Ayurveda has great habits and practices to get us on our way:

First and most important is “Kaizen”- Start by taking ‘small steps’ to gradually lighten up physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Here are some ideas for you:

• EAT LIGHTER- Begin by  eating an earlier and lighter dinner, add lighter foods like soups, stir fries and salads for dinner and some detoxifying herbs like turmeric and ginger to your diet.  Focus on adding wholesome foods. 

• LIGHT YOUR FIRE or AGNI - Agni or fire is responsible for our digestion and Ayurveda reminds us that “we are what we digest.”  So turn up the heat, move your body daily and preferably first thing in the morning.  Get outside for a walk, jog, hike, practice yoga and so lots of sun salutations.   Have fun playing sports.  Whatever you do make sure you turn up the HEAT in your body.

Agni also helps us to digest information, feelings,  emotions and sensory perceptions.  When our Agni is strong it helps us to eliminate AMA (what is undigested) or the leftover stuff that shows up as excess fat, phlegm, congestion, weight and breakout and even mental stagnation.

Practice breathing techniques and take time to sit in silence or meditate. Add some form of devotional rituals like journaling to your routine for just a few minutes per day.

• 
  IMMERSE IN NATURE-  Now is the best time to immerse yourself in nature and witness the transformation that is taking place right before your eyes.  Spring is time for rebirth and committing to spending time outdoors will allow you a deep connection to your rebirthing process.  March is really the New Year.  Spend some time reconnecting to your intentions,  amp up your creative powers and let yourself be filled with nature's light and beauty.  

• CHOOSE EASE-  Keep it simple and slow down.  What are the things that bring your energy up? Committing to simplifying your day by letting go of the endless to-do list,  is a great way to calm  your central nervous system and allow your mind to find a state to be calm.  Ayurveda reminds us that our ability to digest information, and our emotions are as important as digesting our food.  Limiting technology and practicing a diet of NO, and spending time in silence and in nature,  will help to feel lighter, calmer, more energized and bring that Spring into our step.

• CLEANSE - I have done a lot of cleanses and I love an Ayurvedic cleanse because it is so friendly and easy and customizable.  Ayurvedic cleanses are all about simplifying life and the foods that you put into your body so it can have a break.  For  five to 10 days, we eat  only fresh (ideally local) fruits and vegetables, fresh soups and  my favorite kitchari, a curried mung bean and rice dish. Ayurvedic cleanses focus on improving and strengthening our digestive system so we can eliminate ama or ‘stuff that is undigested in our body including undigested emotions and information.  

Everything is easier when done in community, so join our SPRING CLEANSE.