“Sounds like you are one busy lady!” That’s what she said as we ended our conversation after catching up on my family, my work and upcoming retreats. My immediate response was, “ My life is pleasantly full and I am doing everything I love.” The word busy is very triggering for me and I think I have a negative connotation to the word because the use of ‘Busy’ stresses activity as opposed to idleness or leisure.
I looked up the definition and found this: "having a great deal to do.” Example: "He had been too busy to enjoy himself.” There is a difference between having a great deal to do and being too busy to enjoy oneself. So whenever I hear the word busy, I become triggered because my story is that I am not enjoying myself.
Most people use the phrase ‘too busy’ to express the feeling of overwhelm and overschedule. The ‘verb’ definition of busy or keep occupied also brings up negative feelings for example: "she busied herself with her new home." To me, the verb definition of busying oneself with something signifies a lack of choice or doing something instead of another that is preferable. There is a sense of desperation that comes with busying oneself.
Although I do experience occasional fatigue and even overwhelm, I do feel that I lead a life that is full and yet very pleasant and there are many reasons why. On the rare occasion that I do feel “busy,” it is a cue for me to stop and notice where I am out of integrity with my habits and my commitments. It is a cue to STOP, recommit, and notice where I am in the drama triangle. Where am I being a victim, villain and hero of my circumstances and Am I willing to shift into presence?
Eighty percent of the time, I have boundless physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy and here is why: I aim for a B minus and I practice having impeccable daily habits that help me to feel rested, energized, nourished and on purpose. I teach, practice and model these habits every single day and my commitment to eating early; getting enough sleep; eating good fresh food; moving my body; taking care of my organs and choosing ease; gives me boundless physical and mental energy so I can explore the world and be of service to my family, friends, and clients.
My commitment to making conscious connections in both my personal and professional relationships, to practicing authenticity in communication, to living with integrity, and to speaking truth tempered with compassion, help me to constantly choose ease, speak inarguably and from presence, and have deep meaningful relationships that extend beyond talking about the weather.
So yeah, maybe I am a ‘busy’ lady. I am busying myself with doing the things that bring me joy, like saying yes to my habits ( whether I feel like doing them or not), going on a nature walk with friends, choosing the tough conversations over distance, recommitting on a daily basis to choose ease and shift from victim to taking responsibility for the circumstances of my life.
I am grateful every day that I get up, walk, and breathe on my own. Most of all, I am grateful that I can work on living my very best life daily.
How about you? What are you busy doing?